


Affected

by Kunstpause



Series: Cut From The Same Cloth [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Confident Cullen Rutherford, Cullen Smut, F/M, First Time, Getting Together, Magic, Magic Made Them Do It, Pining, Romance, Sex, Sex Magic, Smut, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23262862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause
Summary: Originally set during act III.This chapter is from one of the earliest versions ofPrecipice of Change. A version where Cullen And Cassia did not get to know each other before figuring out who the other is and where Cassia was way more cautious because of that. This is the original "how the got together" as it was back then after a couple of years of mutual pining.It's absolutely not canon anymore, naturally, an can be read as a complete standalone.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Cullen Rutherford, Hawke/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Cut From The Same Cloth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672684
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Affected

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Hands of Fate Are Your Own](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19359295) by [Elveny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elveny/pseuds/Elveny), [Kunstpause](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause). 



Over the months, they started working together more and more often, and Cassia was more than glad for the reprieve from the busy Hightown social life.

Meanwhile, Cullen had found himself no closer to concrete proof of his suspicions. He had tried again, several times actually, to subtly test her for magic, but whenever he saw her, he had felt nothing. But the things he had noticed that day at the Chantry repeated themselves often enough for him to be certain that it wasn’t a coincidence. Somehow, Cassia reacted to the magic drain, but instead of drawing any actual magic off her, it seemed to give her headaches and occasional bouts of dizziness. And while Cullen certainly felt bad about being the cause for her discomfort in those moments, the peculiar reaction made him beyond curious. 

Today was quite different from other days though. For once, they were outside the city for a problem including a group of lyrium smugglers that seemed to have connections inside the templar order. Normally, he would have just taken the information Cassia had gotten him and gone after it himself, perhaps one or two of his more reliable recruits with him, but Cassia had insisted on being there when he arrested them. 

_ ‘They sent someone to intimidate me on my way home when I got close,’ _ she had huffed.  _ ‘It’s personal, and I wanna see the look on their face when we get them!’ _

Cullen didn’t really have an argument against that. Not after all the jobs she had already done for them. He had to admit, though, that working together with her — not just talking to her from behind a desk but rather walking outside in the warm summer winds along the coast — definitely had its charm. Even when unforeseen things happened.

“By the Maker, what was that? A warding spell?” Cullen grunted, but Cassia could barely understand his voice, all noise around her muffled, muted somehow. There had been a wave of magic as they entered the cave where the suspected lyrium smuggler hideout was that had knocked into Cassia like a herd of druffalos. She tried to bring the world back into focus, slightly swaying on her feet and grabbing the wall in support. Behind her, Cullen seemed to have similar issues, but he looked noticeably better than she felt at this moment. He had stood further back, perhaps he hadn’t been hit by the full brunt of whatever that weird magic had been.

“I don’t know,” she croaked. Her voice was rough, and her throat felt uncomfortably dry. “Maybe?” It didn’t feel like a ward at all, however. Rather like some stray magic, perhaps a leftover of a misfired spell. But Cassia bit her tongue and forced herself to not voice any of her thoughts out loud. She would have no way to explain her knowledge, after all.

“And what was it supposed to do?” Cullen sounded irritated. “Make us see double and walk into a wall instead of the entrance?”

At his dry words, Cassia had to laugh and immediately regretted it — her throat actually hurt from the movement, the raspiness making her cough and her head started to throb slightly. Worry welled up in her. She had taken a rather large dose of Magebane in the morning, just to be on the safe side when being out with Cullen all day. Hopefully, this unknown magic wouldn’t cause another bad reaction. “Perhaps someone botched it?” she said, trying to sound casual.

“If it was supposed to keep people out, it was clearly insufficient,” Cullen muttered and pushed a water flask into Cassia’s hands as he went past her to carefully inspect the cave entrance. Grateful, she took a large swig out of it. The water seemed to help only marginally, though, and she tried to ignore the persisting dryness as she gave the flask back. Next to her Cullen was concentrating on something. Feeling around for additional magic, she realized. 

“I don’t feel any further magic in our vicinity.”

“To be fair, you didn’t feel the magic that just exploded into our faces either,” Cassia couldn’t help but point out, regretting the words almost immediately. It seemed a very unwise choice for her to encourage him to work on detecting magic better.

Cullen frowned in annoyance. “That is… actually right,” he admitted. With a sigh, he turned around. “Perhaps we should leave and return with backup.” 

It made sense. They had taken two other templars along and had split off from them several hours ago, having them follow a second trail in the opposite direction. If there was magic involved, it was perhaps not the wisest idea to scout out a smuggler cave of unknown size with just the two of them. Cassia peaked past him into the cave. There wasn't much to see, the entrance immediately going around a sharp corner.

“We’ve come so far though,” she said. “And given that there are no guards here, I am guessing this is the abandoned one the merchant told us about.” If this were still an active hideout, it would be much more guarded than this at all times. “So we’re probably not in any danger.”

She could see him thinking about it. Doing something like this without backup was not templar procedure, but if they had to come back another time, they would lose almost an entire day for absolutely nothing. Before he came to a decision, Cassia pointed towards the sky behind him.

“I think the weather has just made the decision for us,” she remarked. Turning around, Cullen saw the formation of dark clouds looming above them. He sighed. 

“Either we go back to Kirkwall now and spend the next two to three hours walking through one blight of a storm or we explore the hopefully abandoned and thus relatively safe smuggler hideout…”

Cassia grinned at him. “That sounds like an easy choice. After you, Knight-Captain.”

The cave was not quite what Cassia had expected. She thought they would find some empty caches, a lot of garbage, and hopefully the occasional hint. Instead, what they found deeper inside was definitely more than just a small hideout. At first glance, and from what she could see in the dim light of their torch, it was more like an entire base of operations. Clearly abandoned, but it spoke of something much larger than they had anticipated. 

“This looks like it has been empty for a while,” Cullen remarked while carefully looking around. He put the torch into an holding on the nearest wall, but it illuminated about a quarter of the cave center at best. On the far side of the place, there was a large pile of empty barrels and chests, looking like they had been cleared out by someone in a hurry.

“It also looks like this operation is much bigger than we thought.” Cassia pointed towards the pile, and Cullen nodded. 

“So it would seem. We may have to reevaluate our approach.” From the outside, they could hear the faint noise of the storm arriving. “Well, it seems we have quite a bit of time, let’s see if we can find anything useful in here.”

They started methodically searching through all the nooks and crannies hidden throughout the rather expansive cave. There were several more storage piles, all empty. Some improvised desks and fireplaces, makeshift sleeping mats and dusty books. Cassia went through them one by one, sorting useless entertainment from notebooks that could hold some information as to who their owner was. Despite the sharp wind outside, the cave itself felt rather warm. She could hear Cullen look through another batch of chests and barrels behind her as she tried to make sense of the notes in front. Moving closer to the light of the torch, her eyes strained to read the scribbled handwriting. 

“Either I am losing my ability to read or this chicken scratch is not actually supposed to make sense.” Frustrated, she flipped through more pages as Cullen came up behind her, peering over her shoulder. 

“It’s not you, that does indeed look like gibberish. Maybe some sort of shorthand?” His voice right next to her ear almost startled her. She swallowed, her throat feeling very dry. Still? Or again? She couldn’t tell. His presence next to her seemed unusually intense as he reached around her and turned the page, trying just as hard to make sense of it. Something felt odd. Just as she was about to ask him if he felt something weird as well he shook his head at the book, inching just a little bit closer as he pointed towards a row of what looked like numbers. “This might be a ledger?”

When Cassia remembered how to breathe, she inhaled his smell, and the book in her hands shook. With a jerky movement, she snapped it close and almost jumped a step away from him.

“Could be,” she said a tad louder than she had to. “I am going to check if there is more in the other books.” 

Cullen sent her an odd look before he shrugged. “Good idea. Tell me if you find anything.” 

And with that, he turned back to his previous task, leaving behind a slightly unnerved mage clutching the book in a death grip. Cassia took a deep breath and turned towards the shelf again, trying to make sense of the utter weirdness that had just transpired. Why was she so on edge? They had made certain the cave was abandoned. There was nothing threatening around here. Staring at the books, but not really seeing anything in front of her, she felt her heartbeat slow down again. _ ‘You are acting foolish, Cass,’ _ she scolded herself. Maybe smuggler hunting was too much excitement for her after all. Shaking her head at her own weird behavior, she tried to focus back onto the books when a sound made her look up and around again. This time, she felt it more clearly. Something was definitely weird. Like a flash of energy going through her when she looked over at where Cullen threw away another empty crate behind him. 

She swallowed, her mouth and throat suddenly feeling as dry as they did outside the cave again. With no small amount of horror, she saw her hands shake slightly, even in their tight grip around the book. What in the Blight’s name was going on? 

“Why is this cave so stupidly warm?” she muttered quietly as a spell of dizziness came over her. She swayed on her feet, bumping into the table next to her. As she tried to steady herself on the wall, the stone felt ice-cold under her warm hands. 

“Cassia, are you alright?” Cullen sounded worried as he abandoned his search and crossed to her in a rush. 

When she looked up at him coming closer, she could almost feel her cheeks flushing as a wave of heat went through her. Her eyes widened almost comically as her head started to make sense of what her body seemed to be doing. 

No. 

Cullen was right in front of her, obviously worried about her strange behavior, and Cassia desperately tried not to breathe too fast, feeling lightheaded enough already. A steady hand came to rest on her shoulder. Meant to be a comfort as he looked questioningly at her, but it felt like the heat of his touch was burning through her clothes and onto her bare shoulder. “I’m fine,” she forced out through clenched teeth, trying not to shudder. 

“You are not,” came his worried reply. “You look almost feverish and your eyes are glassy.” 

Cassia wanted to shrink into the ground and disappear. This could not be happening. Slowly, her head was connecting the dots. The magic from earlier. The one that she thought was some leftovers from a botched spell. With the wave that had hit them, she had thought it to be some sort of attack, but by now, she realized it was simply working very differently from what she had anticipated. Cullen was still standing unbearably close to her, oblivious to her thoughts as she realized something else. She would have to tell him. He had been standing quite a bit behind her, but he might have gotten hit by enough of the magic to become affected too. She closed her eyes to focus, trying to ignore the growing need inside her that made her want to push herself against him and just see what would happen.

“The magic that exploded at us,” she said slowly, her voice strained, “I think I'm getting an idea of what it did.”

His entire presence felt impossibly close, and as Cassia opened her eyes, she could see genuine concern all over his face. “What is it? You think we have been poisoned?” His eyes swept over her as if he was trying to assess just how much damage they were dealing with. 

“If only,” Cassia sighed ignoring his sharp intake of breath. “It would certainly be less embarrassing than this.” How was she supposed to tell him? That whatever this spell was made her burn up with longing, making her want to throw herself at him this very moment?

“Whatever it is, surely it can't be that bad if it’s not poison?” Cullen still seemed to be blissfully unaware of her predicament as he gently cupped her cheek, tilting her head up in an obvious attempt to calm her down. It had the opposite effect, and Cassia couldn’t stop herself from shivering. A small moan escaped her lips, and she felt him still in his movements. Mortified, she looked up into his confused face. “I think it’s a desire spell,” she breathed out.

Cullen’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. “A what?” he got out, as his head tried to make sense of what he had just heard.

“A spell that…” Her voice broke off as another shiver went through her, fully aware that Cullen could see how hard she was trying to hold herself together. 

“No, I understand what you said,” he muttered quietly, “But... how? Why?” Confusion spread through him. She had been closer to whatever magic had hit them, but he had definitely been exposed. So why was she obviously feeling so much worse than him? He stared at her, trying to gauge just how affected he was himself. There was definitely something there when he looked at her. The need to get closer, to touch her. The feeling of wanting to… He shook his head. Nothing felt that unusual to him, it was the same he always felt when looking at her. 

Instinctively, he moved closer, and Cassia’s eyes snapped open. Gone was the earlier glassiness, all that he could see in them was pure lust. He took in a deep breath, willing himself to not react. Though in the back of his mind, he wondered how nothing of it felt forced in any way to him. Shouldn’t it, if they were under a spell? Instead, it felt just… normal.

“Don’t come too close,” Cassia suddenly insisted. “The closer you are, the more intense it seems to be.”

Out of curiosity, Cullen took a few steps back, and some steps forward again. He could see how her breathing changed when he got closer, but strangely enough, his own feelings of desire for her didn’t seem to be affected by closeness at all — they stayed as strong as they always were even when he moved away. 

“Stop that!” Cassia snapped, shaking Cullen from his thoughts.

“I apologize,” he said, trying not to look her directly in the eyes. “I was trying to understand.” To his own surprise, his voice sounded remarkably calm. Years of ignoring his feelings for her seemed to be working in his favor, for once.

Cassia meanwhile couldn’t even try to hold onto a pretense of staying composed. His presence alone made her feel on fire. 

“I don’t know if it feels the same for everyone,” she breathed out. “But it started with feeling warm, then hot and a bit of lightheadedness. And now I just want to…” She wanted nothing more than to jump up and run to him, bury her hands in his hair and… A small whimper slipped out of her mouth as she focused all her willpower into staying where she was. She would not! She refused to mindlessly throw herself at a man who had been nothing but a friend to her. And who was, after all, a templar. Despite their friendship, she would have been hard-pressed to find anyone she knew with whom this would be a worse idea. 

Guilt crept up inside of her. From what she knew about spells like this, her overly strong reaction was most likely her own fault. It wasn’t like she had never thought about this, about him and her together before. Briefly. Before she forced herself to keep away from that train of thought at all cost. She had been attracted to him — ‘a templar’ her mind added, unasked — before, and she had locked those feelings away deep inside of her. And now that was precisely what came back to bite her.

“I’m sorry, it’s best if I leave!” Cassia jumped up, turning abruptly away from him and rushed towards the entrance of the cave. She should put as much distance as possible between them. It was embarrassing enough that he saw her like this, but she was absolutely certain that it would get even worse, and not long from now, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from throwing all resolutions to the wind. The sounds of the storm became louder, and a moment later, the rain splattered her overheated face. A strong wind hit her like a brick wall as she hurried around the corner to the entrance. The muffled noises inside the cave had not prepared her for just how bad the weather really was. Before she could press forward, Cullen was behind her, and a hand clasped firmly around her arm.

“Don’t,” he yelled over the sounds of waves crashing and rain falling, pulling her back inside. The warmth of his hand on her arm made it hard for her to think clearly. 

“You don’t understand, this is probably going to get worse and worse.” Cassia shook her head. How was she supposed to tell him that she knew exactly what such magic could do and how to counteract it without giving herself away? “I’ve read about such things before,” she started, hoping he would think that the shakiness in her voice came from the effects of the spell. “And we don’t have any potions to counter this, so from what I know about this kind of magic, it can only be stopped by one thing.” She was surprised by her ability to still string full sentences together when every fiber of her being just wanted to throw rational thoughts to the wind.

Cullen looked at the obviously distressed woman in front of him, shoving down the urge to brush a strand of wet hair from her face.

“By what?” he asked carefully. He had a feeling he knew exactly what she was going to say. Part of him felt a rush of desire go through him while another part dreaded her answer.

“What do you think...” she mumbled, confirming his suspicions.

Despite years of resolve, Cullen had to force himself to resist the urge to pull her against him. Out of all the times he had thought about their relationship developing into something more, he had never anticipated that he would feel so conflicted when the opportunity arose. This was not how he imagined her in his arms. Her being under a spell, a compulsion finally being what put everything he had ever wanted right in front of him. He ground his teeth from the tension as an unbidden memory flashed before his eyes. Suddenly, he was far from here, in a tower buried deep in his past, taunted with images of want and deceit. Not again. It would seem as if he was doomed to have magic dangle that what he desired most in front of him yet again. Hands shaking, he willed himself back into control, shoving the memory forcefully away. He would not let this get to him a second time. He could not. Not for himself, and certainly not for the woman he so admired.

As Cassia’s eyes found his, she saw a mixture of fear and… something she couldn’t quite pinpoint on his face. Instinctively, she swayed closer to him when he suddenly let go of her arm as though he were scalded. Oddly hurt by the reaction, she was torn between being grateful for the reprieve as he stepped away and wanting to scream in frustration. She moved to follow him, but almost as quickly froze in her step. What was she even trying to do? By the look of him, he was clearly deeply uncomfortable with the situation, and she refused to push him further by throwing herself at him. She pointed to the far end of the cave, hidden in darkness. “I will stay over there. You stay here and…” And what? Hopefully try and pretend he never heard or saw her like this? She shook her head and made to move away. 

Cullen had been absorbed in watching her restrained movements. A few steps were all that separated them. Just a few steps remained between him and what he wanted most in this world. He had seen her reaction when he held her, the sound of the breathless moan she couldn’t hold back as they had touched echoing through his head. It would take so little effort to just take her into his arms and kiss away any protest. Her body would not refuse him even if her mind apparently wanted to be far away from here. The mere thought made him almost physically ill, and he took another step back as he heard her speak, grateful that she had no idea of what was going on in his mind.

“Cullen, I am so sorry for this,” Cassia said quietly, taken aback by the anger she could see on his face. “Believe me, I am so sorry!” That seemed to interrupt whatever thoughts he was having, the anger fading suddenly to confusion.

“Why are you sorry? This is not your fault,” he said with surprising kindness in his voice. Cassia scoffed bitterly. 

“Oh, but it is. Not the magic, I know that, but the way it is affecting me definitely is.”

“You are not making any sense.” He tilted his head, trying to understand. “You clearly didn’t cause this.”

Cassia sighed. If only her head were any clearer, if only thinking wasn’t so damn difficult right now. She would have to go into the painful details of explaining, it seemed. It was no use coming up with some made-up explanation now, she had already been thoroughly embarrassed and possibly ruined whatever friendship they had with this. Honesty might as well be the only reasonable thing left, but despite that resolution, she couldn’t quite bring herself to look him in the eyes. 

“From what I read... this kind of magic, it doesn’t create,” she said softly. It was at least safe ground for now. Certain things about the restrictions of what magic was able to do were widely known after all. Like the fact that magic could force people to do certain things, but it couldn’t force them to feel something. “It just amplifies what is already there,” she added. She could hear him take in a sharp breath, but she didn’t dare to look up. 

Cullen felt like he was struck by lightning as his mind slowly caught up with what she was saying. His eyes widened as a careful sense of hope surged through him. She couldn’t mean… He had to be certain. “It amplifies what exactly?” He watched Cassia getting visibly more flushed right in front of his eyes as she struggled to find words. 

“It amplifies certain feelings I have been having for a while,” she confessed, still not looking at him. “About you.”

Stunned, Cullen could do nothing but stare at her for a moment. Had he heard that right? Had she actually just said what he would have never dared to hope for almost as long as he had known her? 

“Cassia,” he said softly. “Please look at me.” 

It wasn’t enough to just hear her say it, he needed more, needed to see for himself. When Cassia lifted her head, she had given up hiding anything. The pure and unrestrained desire in her eyes left him struggling to remember how to breathe. She was standing right there, in front of him, and she  _ wanted _ him. All of her did. Not just some spell. When he moved again, he happily ignored the reasonable part of his brain telling him that there were so many other reasons as to why this was not a good idea. He didn’t care anymore. For years he had listened to that part. Denied himself ever hoping to get what he wanted, held back by the fact that he was certain his attention would be unwelcome more than by any other reason. Now that reason was no more, and all the other reasons felt so utterly insignificant he pushed them aside without a second thought. 

Cassia was still trying to decipher the various emotions that went through Cullen’s eyes when he was all of a sudden right in front of her. With a strength she had only seen from him in battle, he pulled her against him, his arm around her waist, pressing her close. As close as it was possible with his armor in the way. The touch went through her entire being like fire and ice at the same time, and another moan escaped her mouth as her eyes almost fluttered shut. Her senses overwhelmed, she wanted to ask him something, but when she opened her mouth she found that she had forgotten the question that had barely formed in her mind. Everything around her seemed to move too fast as she felt him press her closer, and then his lips were on hers, and it was as if the cave around her shifted. 

Had she felt overwhelmed before, there now was a cacophony of sensations around her. His lips on hers felt absolutely perfect. The roaring of the storm outside competed with the sounds of her blood rushing through her and her heart trying to beat out of her chest. The sharp press of his armor against her chest was in contrast to the warm hands softly cradling her cheek. Everything was a little bit too much, and at the same time not nearly enough. She wanted to lose herself in the moment, savoring the feeling of finally getting everything she wanted when a painful thought jerked her out of her bliss. Everything  _ she _ wanted. Cullen had looked both very concerned and utterly miserable just moments before. A dreadful feeling welled up inside of her as she put her hands on his chest plate and pushed back. He pulled back slightly but his hold on her remained. 

“You seemed very unhappy about this a few minutes ago. What has changed?" she couldn’t help but ask. 

Cullen felt nearly thrown off balance by the sheer intensity from just that simple kiss, trying hard to get his breathing under control. How could he explain that it was her desire for him that had finally set him free to act?

“Because you want me,” were the first words tumbling out of him. 

Cassia flinched. “You don’t have to do this out of pity, you know?” She was still speaking softly, but there was clearly hurt in her voice. 

Cullen shook his head, realizing that he would have to find a better way, a clearer one, to say this.

“Believe me, I am not!” He finally gave in to his desire from earlier as he brushed a strand of her wet hair from her face in a soft caress before he emphasized his next words carefully. “Be rest assured, this is not out of pity, nor is it a selfless act to help a friend.” 

Cassia was more than just a little dazzled as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. She searched his face for answers and found none. What she did find in front of her though was a person in full possession of his senses. His eyes were clear. 

“The magic isn’t making you do this, you are not affected,” she murmured quietly, not entirely sure what that meant.

“Magic isn’t making me do anything,” he confirmed with a raspy voice, and Cassia couldn’t look away from his eyes. There was so much heat behind them that she feared she would have trouble standing upright right now if he weren’t holding her this tightly. He leaned down towards her until their lips were almost touching, her breath mingling with his as he spoke again. 

“But Cassia, make no mistake, when it comes to you, I am always affected.”

Cassia stared at him, completely speechless for a moment. She could still feel his breath on her face, his arms around her, holding her so close there was almost no space left between them. Her eyes wandered to his lips. Licking her own, she stared at them as she whispered, “This is such a bad idea.”

“It is,” he agreed in a low voice that was doing things to Cassia she had not anticipated. “Though right now, I am no longer inclined to let that stop me.” 

She fought the urge to just throw herself into another kiss when he himself made no move to do so again. 

“And yet you are?” she asked, her voice a trembling whisper. He smiled before he moved closer. His lips dangerously close to hers now, so close that she could feel a slight movement when he spoke.

“Let me savor this moment just a little bit more.” There was something in his voice, something laden with emotions. He sounded different, more open than she was used to hearing from him, and she fought hard to stay still, to not change anything of this moment. He was still not kissing her, hovering close to her as one hand slowly wandered up her back and his other gently caressed her face as if he was trying to commit her shape to every possible memory. They stood so still that his breathing sounded almost harsh and wild compared to it, giving away just how affected he was by the situation. By her.

Cassia wasn’t sure how much longer she could take this. Her body felt on fire and his careful touches were like pouring oil into it. 

“Cullen,” she whispered against his lips and she could swear she could feel him shiver. “I need you.” 

She could feel his fingers tighten around her before he finally let their lips meet again. It felt like a release of something that had been so much longer in the making than just the few moments that had happened in this cave. His mouth was hot against hers, and she had almost no time to think any further before she felt his tongue sweeping across her lips. With a deep sigh, she let him in. If she had felt on fire before, she had turned into flame itself as soon as their tongues met. He pressed her back until they had nowhere else to go, never even stopping their kiss. The rough stone of the wall felt ice-cold against her back, but she didn’t mind as Cullen’s hands were suddenly everywhere, running intimately up her sides, cupping her face, the back of her neck and wandering back down towards her thighs again. 

Cassia wanted nothing but to feel him closer, her hands finding no purchase on the hard steel of his armor. With a frustrated sound, she began feeling around for any clue on how to take it off. For a moment, she felt a smile against her lips, then he pulled away slightly, his hands covering hers, guiding her to the leather buckles that held the pieces together.  With combined efforts, the chestplate fell to the floor with a loud crash, hastily followed by his gambeson, and then, he was back on her, kissing every bit of skin he could reach.

Part of Cullen still had trouble believing what was happening. They were still fully clothed, and yet, Cassia’s hands on his chest with nothing but his undertunic between them felt like a blessing to him. Her touch was playful and curious but unmistakably driven by need. She pulled at his clothing with clear intention, and if he would just stop his ministrations for only a moment, she would have pulled it off of him in a heartbeat, but he didn’t have it in him to stop, not even for a moment. His hands found the fastenings of her tunic instead and pulled it loose before moving on to the waistband of her pants, pulling them down hastily. His lips left hers and ghosted over her neck, down her collarbone to press small kisses all over her skin as he kept up his relentless pace of divesting her of her clothes. 

His hands cupped her breasts, followed by a hungry mouth. When the last piece of fabric covering her was no more, his hands skimmed over her thighs, coaxing a moan out of her. The light in the cave was dim, but it was enough to let him see her as she was in front of him. Cullen let his eyes wander over her entire form, taking in every inch of her, from her still trembling legs over her breasts moving up and down with every breath to her face that was so full of desire that it almost made him lose himself in it. 

“Maker, you are breathtaking.”

Cassia had been too distracted to participate in getting rid of her clothes, but Cullen seemed like a man on a mission, not really needing her help in getting what he wanted. Suddenly, his leg slid against her, slowly pressing her own legs apart and fitting between them. Cassia was almost sure that he could feel just how wet she was through the templar robes. The pressure of his thigh against her center felt like pure bliss. 

“You are wearing too many clothes!" she managed to get out, reaching out to remedy that situation. There was a rustling of fabric that she was pulling up, fumbling with some laces, and then she could feel him shudder against her as she finally got her hands on him, giving him a few experimental strokes. 

Cullen’s head fell back as he groaned loudly at her touch, and Cassia was mesmerized, speeding up her movements before she was suddenly stopped. With something that was almost a growl, he caught both of her hands in one of his, and before she even knew what was happening, he was pinning them above her head. His mouth was back on her, desperately sucking and biting her neck. She was sure he was leaving marks, and by the way he kept doing it, she was also sure that it was on purpose. When he finally reached her mouth again, his kiss felt even deeper than before. For a moment, all they did was press against each other, their mouths moving almost furiously. 

“Cullen!” She shifted slightly and wrapped one leg around his waist, not caring about any of her previous reservations anymore. Gone was every shred of modesty as she spread herself open for him in the process. For a brief moment he paused, looking down at her with so much lust in his eyes she let out a whimper. His eyes were dark with lust as his hand wandered down her sides again, this time not stopping at her thigh. 

“You have no idea…” His voice sounded hoarse, almost broken. A harsh whisper that made her tremble in his arms. A soft touch of his hand over her center made her heart skip a beat before he slid a finger inside her with a low hum of approval at her wetness. 

“No idea!” he repeated. Another finger. A delicious friction caused her to moan as he moved them.

“Please,” she found herself begging, “I need more!” Her own neediness would have made her feel embarrassed at any other time, but right at that moment, all she could do was grind herself onto his hand.

“More?” Cullen tugged at her earlobe with his teeth before he whispered hotly in her ear, “I will give you everything.” His fingers slowly moved inside of her as he kept spilling whispered secrets into her ear. “I have spent so many nights lying awake, thinking of you. Thinking of this,” he confessed, and Cassia felt her eyes roll back at his words. “I lie awake, thinking of all the things I want to do to you.” She felt a third finger entering her, a delicious stretch making her fingers twitch with the need to touch him, but he still held on tightly. 

“Cullen, I…”

“Shh,” he hushed her, moving his hand just a little bit faster. “I have thought about how I would make you moan for me. Make you scream. Make you beg.”

His voice, so incredibly close to her, had gotten impossibly deep, riling her up beyond belief. She ground herself back onto his still moving hand as much as she could. 

“Tell me!” she insisted. “Tell me what you’ve thought about!” At the moment, she wasn’t sure what drove her towards the edge faster, his hand or his words.

Cullen smiled against her cheek, pressing soft kisses on her skin before he continued. “I thought how you would come into my office for work, and I would one day just bend you over my desk. You would look so pretty on it when I lick you open for me until you would be screaming my name for everyone around to hear.” 

Cassia breathed in sharply at the image in her head. Seconds later, she let out a frustrated whine as he removed his fingers, but before she could complain, he pushed into her in one long hard stroke. 

“Fuck!” Cassia gasped, feeling him fill her up completely. For a moment, neither of them moved, and she basked in the realization that everything about this was so much better than she had ever imagined.

Cullen’s voice was rough with need and demand as he held her still, trapped between his body and the wall. “Did you ever imagine us?”

“I tried not to,” she confessed, shaking in his arms. His lips moved from her ear, kissing along her jaw until he was hovering above her lips again. 

“And?” he urged. “Did you succeed?” 

Wide-eyed, Cassia shook her head. “Not always,” she whispered. “Sometimes I couldn’t help myself.”

Cullen growled and thrust into her, hard. A cry of pleasure left her as he hit the perfect spot inside her, and she felt herself getting more and more lost to the pleasure. His free hand was in between them, gently stroking her in time with his movements. And by the Maker, he kept thrusting into her just perfectly. She had lost the ability to speak, only capable of guttural moans. Noises filling the cave that she almost couldn’t believe came from her. 

He kissed her again, swallowing up her cries with his own moans. His grip on her was hard enough to bruise as he picked up the pace, and she felt herself clenching around him. Her mind was getting reduced to a never-ending string of  _ ‘don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop’ _ . Outside, the storm was roaring particularly loud as she felt herself falling over the edge, almost screaming against his mouth as she came hard. Cullen kept kissing her through her orgasm until she felt his rhythm slightly falter, and with a long moan, he was spilling into her. 

His forehead came to rest against hers as she was leaning back against the wall, both of them breathing roughly in the aftermath. Neither of them was quite sure what to say for a moment. The urgent heat from earlier had been replaced by a different kind of warmth. Something soothing and comfortable, and Cassia breathed deeply. Her head seemed clear again. As clear as it could be with having the man she had tried to suppress her feelings for for several years now this close and all around her. She couldn't stop thinking about the things he had whispered into her ear just moments ago. Had he meant them? Had he been wanting to do all those things to her for quite a while already? Now that she didn’t feel completely out of her mind from the spell anymore, the thoughts of just how bad an idea all of this was had returned. She was just about to say something when he shifted a bit, and a soft kiss was pressed against her lips, stopping her thoughts dead in their tracks. Cullen moved slightly, and from the feel of him between her legs, he wasn’t done with her. And judging from her own immediate reaction, she wasn’t done with him either. It was at that moment that she decided that she very much wanted to find out what else he might have thought about doing to her. And just how much she would let him. Thoughts about bad or not so bad decisions could wait until later.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at us or chat us up on [tumblr](https://intothedragonverse.tumblr.com).


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